Friday, February 17, 2012

What They Don't Tell You


I assumed from the moment I first saw him, that he and I would grow old together. I figured we’d lose our looks apace, and that affection in our hearts would supplant inspection by our eyes once we became old.

I assumed that physical attraction was like those fuel barrels that boost a rocket through the heat of the atmosphere and then are detached and are cast off to orbit the earth. Like debris. Like memories.

Why didn’t anyone tell me 28 years ago, that when the man I mustered the courage to approach and talk to at that dismal bar in that wretched little city would turn 50, I would see only the man I first saw on the night we met.

That is what no one tells you.  That your lover doesn’t age in your eyes!  When I look at him on this, his 50th, I see exactly the same face I saw then. Why didn’t anyone tell me this amazing truth? My guess is that this truth is economically inconvenient.  If we assume that the passage of time will render us as undesirable as an old dishtowel, we will lay out cash to fight the imagined enemy.  We will be anxious about the future of our faces.

I always knew they say that love is blind, but I thought they meant to youthful details. I didn’t think I’d be blinded by the sight of my beautiful husband forever, but I am. That’s what they don’t tell you.


11 Comments:

Blogger Y | O | Y said...

Congratulations and Happy Birthday!

10:07 AM  
Blogger Will said...

An astonishingly beautiful tribute to a very beautiful man. And may I say that you're not exactly looking like corrugated cardboard yourself, either!

50 in many ways can be just the beginning. I met THE man when I was 52. My life opened up like a flower.

xoxo

1:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday to the Bad Lamb!!!

Padre Antonio, could you please point me to information about titular heads of mythical churches that don't really exist?

Was watching B-16 and the Vatican Air Force hand out new hats and decoder rings today.

Thanks,
Alex

11:44 PM  
Blogger Tony Adams said...

Dear Anonymous Alex,
Start here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Titular_see
Unfortunately, this wiki doesn't answer the question "Why bother giving a bishop jurisdiction over a diocese that no longer exists?" It is done in the case of auxiliary bishops who assist the archbishop of a diocese. Because every bishop must be the shepherd of somewhere, the auxiliary ones are given titular sees until they become heads of their own real and functional diocese. The rule is that they must never actually enter their suppressed titular see because that would cause a confusion of authority between him and the actual bishop of that region. For example, when Fulton Sheen was auxiliary bishop in New York, he was given the titular see of Newport, Rhode Island which had been suppressed and replaced by the diocese of Providence, Rhode Island. He was reportedly vexed that he had to stay out of Newport!

11:59 PM  
Anonymous DesperateArtist said...

Such a sweet piece. Congratulations on your relationship and happy birthday.

2:57 PM  
Blogger Marcia said...

Very well put Fr. Tony! Happy Birthday Chris!!

Marcia

3:48 PM  
Blogger Homer said...

Well 50 is just like 22.

1:16 PM  
Anonymous theeverydaygay.com said...

Misty-eyed! After just getting engaged to my partner, this is one of those posts that pretty much amps me up (even more! for the best decision I've ever made in my life! THANK YOU!

8:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mazel tov. :)

11:00 AM  
Blogger Spouse Walker said...

oh honey. That's what i call blessed.

7:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Such sweet sentiment....Love is about loving someone imperfectly!

10:56 AM  

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